Lightsabers and Baby Bottles
by Chemo the Herald akaDarthLarry
Summary: This story was written by Superman who terminated their account so i decided to publish it because it is that spiffy


Lightsabers and Baby Bottles   
Author: Superman   
  
  
I'm gonna get 'im. Finawy!  
  
Two year old Obi-Wan Kenobi stealthily moved his small body to the edge of the cramped vent, where he could see better. There he was. He was gonna get him this time!  
  
He moved himself into position.   
  
Jus' a leettle closer. C'mon. Jus a leetle.  
  
The dimunitive figure below him inched forward, moving every second to the spot where certain doom would meet him. Obi-Wan giggled. He tried to shush himself, but it was too funny. It erupted into outright laugher, but the passing figure didn't seem to notice.   
  
He's al'ost there.  
  
Obi-Wan lifted the air vent. He squatted into the jumping position.   
  
Okay. Just fie more steps, and yer mine!  
  
Five...  
  
Four...  
  
Three...  
  
Two...  
  
One...  
  
JUMP  
  
Obi-Wan leaped out of the air vent, coming down on top of Master Yoda...or so he thought. He watched in horror as the green figure sidestepped his attack.  
  
AHHHHHHHHH  
  
***  
  
THUMP  
  
THUMP  
  
THUMP  
  
"Oh no, Master Windu, not again."  
  
"Yes, this little one seems intent on tackling Master Yoda."  
  
"Have you found how he gets into the air vents yet?"  
  
"We're working on it."  
  
Obi-Wan felt a light touch on his back as the healer took him.  
  
"Obi-Wan? Can you hear me? Or did you knock yourself out again?"  
  
Obi-Wan sat up groggily. "I can hear."  
  
The healer smiled. Then her expression turned stern and she sat him on the bed. "Obi-Wan Kenobi! That's the third time this week!" She wagged a slim finger at him. "You shouldn't try to tackle Master Yoda!"  
  
The two year old looked at her, confused. "Why not?" he puffed out his chest proudly. "I'n taller den he is!"  
  
The healer covered her mouth to surpress a giggle. "Um...yes...well..." She burst into giggles. But she saw the young child watching her, and attempted to be serious. "I am too, hon'. But you don't see me tackling Master Yoda!"  
  
Obi-Wan laughed. "Dat's 'cause you so big, you'd smash 'im!"  
  
The healer's mouth dropped and her face turned beet red.   
  
"Fiesty this one is."  
  
Obi-Wan turned around to face the new figure in the room. "Good morn, Mas'er 'Oda."  
  
The short Jedi Master looked him in the eye. "Fully recovered you are?"  
  
Obi-Wan smiled brightly and jumped down from the bed. "Yep."  
  
The healer eyed him. "I don't know. You took a pretty hard hit."  
  
Obi-Wan nodded, or tried to. The room was swirling around him. " 'ELP!" He fell to the floor. The healer rushed to him.   
  
"Obi-Wan? OBI-WAN?"   
  
He shook his blonde head. "I alright. Don' worry! Be 'appy!"  
  
She smiled and lifted him back on the bed. "Now stay put."  
  
She turned to the Jedi Masters in the room. "Master Yoda, Master Windu, would you mind watching him for a moment while I get him some Sedaminafin?"  
  
Mace Windu nodded. Obi-Wan studied him. He shouldn't. He had gotten in trouble for it before. But it was so tempting...He reached out a pudgy hand, but the tall Jedi Master grabbed it. "No."  
  
Obi-Wan scowled. The dark skinned Jedi Master had black hair that went past his ankles, and when he let it hang, it was so easy just to reach over and grab a handful. Then you pulled it real hard. It was a fun game that all the kids his age played. They called it "Make Mas'er Windy look up!"  
  
"Got it." the healer walked back into the room with a spoonful of red liquid in her hand. "Open, Obi-Wan." Obi-Wan obeyed. The healer poured the liquid from the spoon into his mouth. A horrible taste entered his mouth.   
  
[b]BLECH![/b]  
  
He spit it out, all over the healer. She looked at him in shock. "OBI-WAN KENOBI!"   
  
He grinned. She stormed back into the room and got the whole bottle of medicine. She poured some into the spoon, spilling it all over the counter. But she didn't seem to notice. "OPEN."  
  
He clamped his mouth shut.   
  
She walked closer to him. "OPEN. NOW!"  
  
He closed his mouth stubbornly. The healer shot a look to Master Windu, and he walked forward. "Open your mouth now, Obi-Wan."  
  
He shook his head. The tall Jedi Master grabbed his wrists and pinned him against the bed. Obi-Wan opened his mouth to scream and the healer forced a spooful of medicine down his throat. After Master Windu had made sure it was all down, he released his grip on the young boy.  
  
Obi-Wan looked at him, angry. "MA'SER WINDY! YOU LET 'ER POISON ME!"  
  
***  
Che'ka stormed through the halls, very un-Jedilike thoughts running through her mind.  
  
//Why did they have to give me this job? That kid's a two year old terror. He'll need to be watched night and day. I won't have time to...//   
  
"Yes, hard it will be."  
  
Che'ka turned to see Yoda standing in front of her, ARGH. He had a way of just appearing, expecially when you were angry.   
Yoda looked at her. "Mmmm. Test your patience this will. Good for you it will be. Thank me someday, you will."   
Che'ka turned away from Yoda so he wouldn't see her roll her eyes.   
//I don't know about that. This is just to torture me//   
She turned back to Yoda. He did not look happy.   
He walked up to her. He rasied his gimer stick...   
WHACK   
Che'ka's mouth fell open. Her hand went to her red knee. She winced. "Master Yoda!"   
"Acting like a child you are. Stop you must. Responsible you must be. Act like Jedi, not two year old!"   
Che'ka crossed her arms and stormed off. Yoda shook his head.   
"Hotheaded. Stubborn." he sighed. " Needs this she does, or turn she will."   
***   
"Obi-Wan, I have good news. The council has found you a caretaker!"   
Obi-Wan frowned. "Why? Whabout Sidee?"   
The healer groaned. SD-4G was his nanny droid.   
"You might still have her, if you didn't slice her in half, again."   
The two year old in front of her giggled. " I like doin dat! I pertend she's a Torgan pirat!"   
The healer rolled her eyes. "That's a Togorian Pirate. Now," she wagged a slim finger at him "You be nice to her. No tackling, and DON'T cut HER in half!"   
Obi-Wan grinned. "Uh-Kay" His eyes widened. "Is dat' my taker? Dat' perty lady?"   
The healer turned around to see a redfaced girl, around twenty-two, she guessed. "Hello. Are you Che'ka Demarge?"   
She nodded.   
The healer smiled. "This is your charge, Obi-Wan Kenobi."   
Obi-Wan ran over to her and hugged her leg. "I so happy you my taker, Checker."   
Che'ka stared at him. "It's Che'ka."   
Obi-Wan grinned. "Tha's wud I say, Checker."   
Che'ka rolled her eyes, and picked him up. "Come on. I'm gonna put you to bed."   
The healer looked at her in surprise. "It's only 7 o'clock."   
Che'ka snarled. "So what? She sooner he's asleep the better."   
Che'ka marched down the hall. She spotted the youngsters room and quickly went in. She set him down on a chair. "Go get your pajamas and put them on." she ordered. "Then go to bed."   
Obi-Wan cocked his head confused. "Where's my pajas?"   
She stared at him in disbelief. "Alright, fine. I'll get them." She walked to his drawer and pulled out blue pajamas with little lightsabers all over them. She scowled. Those were disgusting.   
"Here they are. Strip down and put these on."   
Obi-Wan nodded cheerfully. "Uh-Kay."   
He tugged at his shirt. It wouldn't come off. "Checker?"   
She looked at the two year old. O brother. He couldn't even undress himself. She quickly helped him get into his pajamas, and stuck him into bed. She went to turn out the light, but she heard him whimper.   
She whirled around. "What is is now?"   
He looked up at her pitifully. "Sidee always tol me a story."   
She groaned. She hated telling stories. SHe didn't even know any. She'd have to make one up. But if it would put him to sleep...   
She sat down on his bed and smiled. "Once upon a time there was a Jedi. She was informed by the evil troll, Yoda-Windu, that she was going to be put into slavery. In her slavery she would have to take care of an evil toddler. His name was Obi-Fin."   
Obi-Wan sat up brightly. "Tha'sounds like my name! Al'wight!"   
Che'ka chuckled. " Anyway, she worked there for two minutes, and after that, she couldn't stand it anymore, so she went and slapped the little troll, left the Jedi and lived happliy ever after."   
Obi-Wan sat up and applauded. "I like that story!"   
Che'ka rolled her eyes. "Go to sleep."   
"G'night, Checker."   
"Goodnight, Obi-Wan."   
  
***  
  
***  
  
"Checker! I need a baf!"  
  
Che'ka sat up and yawned. She glanced at the chronometer. 5:30. "Obi-Wan, It's too early. Go back to sleep." She snuggled back into her bed and closed her eyes. She heard footsteps, and then...   
  
"GAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
Che'ka jumped out of bed as a bucket full of ice cold water hit her directly in the face. She stared at the two year old, stunned. "Obi-Wan!"  
  
He grinned. "I ready for my baf!"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Alright."  
  
She quickly undressed the two year old and started his bath water. She sat him in it. "Now, STAY RIGHT THERE."  
  
He smiled and nodded.  
  
Che'ka went into her room and started to change. She had just pulled on her shirt when a knock came at the door. Opening it, she found her friends, Goor and Pitae, standing there giggling. A small pair of red and white striped boxers were in Pitae's hand. Che'ka eyed them. "What is that?"  
  
Pitae laughed. "Yoda's boxers."  
  
Che'ka's jaw dropped. She covered her mouth to surpress a giggle. "Your kidding! How did you get those?"  
  
Pitae grinned. "We figured out the password to enter Yoda's room. We went in and..."  
  
She and Goor burst out laughing. "You wouldn't believe the stuff we found in there!"   
  
Goor giggled. "Did you know that Yoda sleeps with a stuffed Ewok?"  
  
Che'ka erupted into laughter. Goor smiled. "We haven't explored half of his room. We want you to explore the rest of it with us."  
  
Che'ka groaned. "I have a two year old terror to watch."  
  
Goor sighed. "Where is he?"  
  
"In the bath."  
  
Goor grinned. "Perfect. You can come. He'll be fine."  
  
Che'ka shook her head. "I don't know..."  
  
Pitae grabbed her arm."O come on! What other chance are you going to get to see Yoda's chambers?"  
  
Che'ka bit her lip. Maybe it would be okay to leave him for just a few minutes... She smiled. "Okay, lets go."  
  
Goor cheered and Pitae smiled. "O yeah! Get ready for some real fun."  
  
***  
  
Obi-Wan peeked his head out of the bathroom. "Checker? I done!"  
  
He waited. No answer.  
  
"Checker?"  
  
Still no response.  
  
"CHECKER?"  
  
Silence.  
  
//I just do it mysewf//  
  
Obi-Wan walked to his drawer and pulled one open. No underwear in there. He pulled open the next one. Nothing. He opened every drawer. No underwear.  
  
Obi-Wan crossed the room and sat on his chair. A single tear came to his eye.  
  
//Wha' am I gonna do? Checker's gone.//  
  
He sniffed. Then brightened.   
  
//I Checker isn't here wif' me, I go to her!//  
  
Obi-Wan, still naked as a jaybird, wandered out of the room. He strolled down the halls, smiling. He saw other initionates stare at him. He'd just grin. Obi-Wan searched, but had no success. He sat in a corner and started to cry.  
  
//Where's my undies? I ca't fine' Checker, who would know where dey are?//  
  
He thought for a moment.   
  
// MA'SER 'ODA! He's weel 'mart! He know everthing!//  
  
Obi-Wan jumped up and ran down the hall as fast as his short legs would carry him.  
  
***  
  
Yoda sat in his chair in the council, listening intently to Chancellor Valorum tell of a mysterious happening on Gareda, a neighboring planet. He was getting quite bored. The counciler was speaking in a droning monotone, and his "detailed account of the dreadful happenings" was a bit too drawn out.  
  
Thump  
  
Thump  
  
Thump  
  
Creak  
  
Yoda, and all the others in the room, stared as the door opened. Yoda's eyes widened at what he saw there. Obi-Wan Kenobi. Naked. Not wearing anything. Yoda winced as he saw Chacellor Valorum, and all the other members of the council stare at the clothesless young child.   
  
Obi-Wan, who was oblivious to the stares, marched up to Yoda, grinning. "Mas'er 'Oda, have you seen my undies?"  
  
Yoda saw Mace Windu, and several other members of the council, cover their mouths to hold off a laugh.   
  
Yoda was dumbfounded. Never in the history of the council, had this happened.   
  
"Obi-Wan," Windu said. "Come here."  
  
Obi-Wan smiled. "Do you know where my undies are?"  
  
That brought giggles from the council. Mace smiled. "No, I'm going to take you back to your room."  
  
Obi-Wan frowned. He didn't want to go back. Checker wasn't there. "No."  
  
Mace frowned. "Obi-Wan. Come here."  
  
Obi-Wan shook his head. Mace Windu reached forward to get him, and Obi-Wan took off running out of the council room. Mace looked around as if saying "What do I do?" Yoda jumped out of his chair. "Find him, we must!"  
  
With that order, everyone in the room, including the chacellor, took off running after the small child.  
  
***  
  
Che'ka and her friends crept out of Yoda's room. They tried to be quiet, but, O the stuff they had discovered in there. She nudged Pitae. "How was I to guess Yoda had a crush on Yaddle?" Pitae giggled. The two girls looked at Goor, who was frozen. Che'ka stiffened. "What's wrong? IS YODA COMING?"  
  
Goor looked at her, wide eyed. "Worse. Your charge is running down the hall."  
  
Che'ka breathed out. "O, is that all. I'll just go get him."  
  
Goor shook his head. "He's naked."  
  
Che'ka froze once again. "What?"  
  
"Naked. He's naked."  
  
Che'ka just stood there, stunned. She watched, glued to her spot outside Yoda's open door, as her charge passed where she was standing. Pitae and Goor stared at her. "Aren't you gonna get him?"  
  
Che'ka answered with a cry. The whole council, Mace, Yoda, Depa, Yaddle, all of them, were in hot pursuit of the young child. Her charge. Her jaw dropped. Even Chacellor Valorum was chasing him. She buried her face in her hands. "I am in so majorly deep!"  
  
***  
***  
  
Che'ka paced  
  
...and paced  
  
...and paced  
  
...and paced.  
  
//Where is he? Is he doing this on purpose? Just to make me jumpy? ARGH. He would do something like that, wouldn't he?//  
  
"Jedi thoughts, these are not."  
  
Che'ka held in a groan. Yoda always did this to her. He always came around when she was at her worst.  
  
She looked up to see an unhappy Mace Windu. She looked down to see an even unhappier Master Yoda.  
  
Mace stared at her. Into her. "Che'ka Demarge, you have got to become more responsible." He placed a hand on the young woman's shoulder. "A young child's life is in your hands. It's hard work, but with it comes great rewards."  
  
Che'ka shot him a skeptical look. "Yeah, right. And exactly what would that be?"  
  
Windu sighed and looked at Yoda. Che'ka showed so much disrespect. This was their last resort. If she failed to change after working with young Obi-Wan, they were going to excuse her from the Temple.  
  
"A punishment is in order here." Windu said calmly.   
  
Che'ka sighed. She had been expecting this.   
  
"Kitchen duty. For two weeks you will have afternoon kitchen duty."  
  
Che'ka smiled. That wasn't so bad. Then a thought struck her. "What do I do with Obi-Wan while I'm washing dishes?"  
  
"He will be with you."  
  
Che'ka's jaw dropped. "You mean I have to take care of that little brat at the same time?"  
  
Yoda whacked her with his gimer stick. "Little brat, he is not. Young Jedi he is."   
  
Che'ka rolled her eyes. "When do I start this torture?"  
  
Yoda whacked her again with his gimer stick.  
  
"Ow! Master Yoda!"  
  
"Act like Jedi, not two year old womprat!"  
  
Che'ka bit her lip. Rarely did Master Yoda ever raise his voice. She had pushed his limits a little too far this time.  
  
She sighed. "I'm sorry."  
  
Yoda nodded.   
  
Mace Windu spoke up. "You start today."  
  
***  
  
"My ducky, my ducky, yah, I love my ducky."  
  
Che'ka sighed. The same song for two hours. Two hours that she had been doing dishes. Who knew that twelve year old kids could use so many dishes in just one meal?  
  
Obi-Wan's singing didn't help. She had given him a pail of bathwater with bubbles and a rubber ducky. So far she'd had only a few minor mishaps. She looked at the two year old. He was covered with bubbles from head to toe. She wouldn't have to give him a bath tonight.   
  
Bath. She shivered. It had taken two hours and half the Jedi Temple to catch the naked two year old. She had learned her lesson. Never again was she ever going to leave him alone in the bath.   
  
It was a good thing Yoda hadn't found out that they had been in his room. Who knew what he would have done. Che'ka giggled. They hadn't been able to return his boxers, so she had them laying in the bottom of her trunk, along with his stuffed Ewok bear. She burst out laughing. On the sweater of the bear was sewn in " Born to be Wild."   
  
She also had a holo of Yoda and Yaddle on a motor bike that she had found in his drawer. Yoda was wearing a leather jacket and a crash helmet, and Yaddle was wearing a pink mini skirt and and a red fur scarf. Her whole outfit was accented by a purple hat the said "my man" and had a light up arrow that was pointing at Yoda.  
  
"Look Checker, I Santi Caus!"  
  
She looked down to see the young child with a string of bubbles that was running off of his chin. She chuckled and shook her head.  
  
"Niney nine bottes o' rum on de wall! Niney nine bottes o' rum! Ya take on down, and pass it to Checker, niney tate bottes o' rum on de' wall!"  
  
"Obi-Wan!"  
  
He looked at her, his blue eyes shining. "You like my song? I tot it ub all by mysef!"  
  
She groaned and rolled her eyes. If any of the Masters caught him singing that...  
  
"Have you thought up anymore songs?" she asked sarcastically.  
  
He grinned. "Yep. Tot up one today. Ya wanna hear?"  
  
She was about to refuse, but he started singing. "O, everyone thinks dat 'Oda stinks, like a piece a rotten cheese. But me I say dat he's okay, just as long as theres a breeze!"  
  
She stared at him bewildered and unsure whether to rebuke the boy or laugh outloud."OBI-WAN KENOBI!"  
  
"You like it?"  
  
She groaned.   
  
"CHE'KA!"  
  
Che'ka whirled around, stunned. That sounded like Master Yoda, only louder. And angrier.   
  
A diminuative green figure marched into the room. "CHE'KA!"  
  
She grimaced as she saw what he held. The pair of boxers they had taken from his room.  
  
Uh oh  
  
"WHAT WERE THESE..."  
  
He didn't have time to finish his sentence. A bar of soap had fallen on the floor, and Yoda stepped right on it. Che'ka watched in horror as Yoda flew across the room...and straight into Obi-Wan.  
  
She let out a small cry and rushed to where the two were tangled on the floor. Yoda lay, unconscience, beside the two year old. But she was worried for Obi-Wan.  
  
"Obi-Wan? Are you alright?"  
  
He sat up. "WOW. Ma'ser 'Oda has got to teach me how to tackle like that."  
  
  
  
****  
  
"A lil' bit o' 'Oda in my life, A lil' bit o' Windy by my side, a lil' bit o' Checker is what I nee', a lil' bit o' Bant is what I see. A lil' bit o'..."  
  
Che'ka groaned and continued her trek down the halls of the Jedi Temple. He was so annoying.  
  
"...a lil' bit o' force makes me yo' man"  
  
She rolled her eyes. Her musical charge had just made up a new song, and he had been singing it all morning. She grabbed his pudgy hand. She stopped the little boy in his tracks.  
  
"Obi-Wan, do you know why we're going to see Master Yoda?"  
  
He nodded. "Cuz' you 'tole his undies."  
  
Che'ka's jaw dropped. " I did not!"  
  
He looked at her. "Did too!"  
  
She stared back at him." I did not!  
  
"Uh huh!"  
  
"No I didn't!"  
  
"Yah you did!"  
  
"Obi-Wan..." She stopped abruptly as she felt the looks of the Masters on her back. Her face turned a bright crimson.   
  
I must look pathetic. Sitting here arguing with a two year old!  
  
She acted like she hadn't noticed anything and scooped Obi-Wan up in her arms.   
  
"I did not" she whispered in his ear. He stuck his tongue out at her.   
  
They walked along in silence for a moment. Obi-Wan was pre-occupied with the necklace that hung around her, a present she had recieved from her Master on her thirteenth birthday. Che'ka was going over what she was going to tell Yoda. This wasn't going to be easy.  
  
Number one. It wasn't just me! Pitae and Goor did it too! Number two. Obi-Wan is responsible for everything else.  
  
As she walked, she lined up reasoning for her two points.   
  
"Che'ka! Long time no see!"  
  
She turned around, recognizing the voice immediatly. "Master! Er, I mean..."  
  
He laughed and enveloped her in a hug.   
  
"Hey Ma'ser dude, yer quishin' me!"  
  
Master Dima Ro'cea pulled back quickly. "What do we have here?"  
  
Che'ka sighed. "I was assigned to be a caretaker. This is my charge."  
  
"Obi-Wan grinned. "Heylo! Mine name is Goober."  
  
Che'ka shot him a look. "Obi-Wan, your never to lie to the Masters."  
  
He gave her an innocent look. "I'n not! Mine name is Goober."  
  
Che'ka groaned. Her Master chuckled, then his expression turned serious. "What's this I here about you and Master Yoda's boxers?"   
  
She blushed. "You know about that?"  
  
He gave her a look. "Everyone knows about that."  
  
She giggled. Her Master gave her a stern look, but it quickly erupted into laughter of his own.   
  
"You don't know how many of us have tried to do that!"  
  
Che'ka's jaw dropped. "You mean...?"  
  
He laughed. "Generations of Jedi have tried to get a glimpse of his boxers. How'd you do it."  
  
She told him the whole story. He laughed.   
  
"Well, my young former padawan, I must be going. And I hear you have an appointment with Master Yoda."   
  
She nodded. He gave her a smile and left. Che'ka continued her trek down the hall. Within moments they were standing outside the healer's room were Yoda was still recovering. She put Obi-Wan down.   
  
"Stay here until I come out to get you. You hear me?"  
  
He nodded. She turned around and opened the door to Yoda's chambers.   
  
And the sheep walks into the lion's den...  
  
She looked in...and there stood Yoda, dressed in nothing but his boxers. She gasped. He turned around, and for the first time in her life, she saw Yoda's green face turn bright red.   
  
"GET OUT YOU WILL IF LIVING YOU ENJOY!"  
  
But Che'ka couldn't move. She just stood there. And then...she started laughing outloud. For, on his boxers, were the munchkins from "Wizard of Oz." Yoda's head was put on one of the munchkin's bodies, and sewn in in bright gold letters was...  
  
We Represent The Lollipop Gang  
  
Che'ka laughed harder. She didn't even notice Yoda, until it was too late.  
  
WHACK  
  
WHACK  
  
WHACK  
  
Che'ka cried out as Yoda hit her knee three times. He then turned around, walked the other direction, and ran to her, jumping higher than he should have been able to. At the last second, she saw him lift one of his scrawny legs, and it hit her head. She grabbed her pounding head and ran out of the room.  
  
Obi-Wan, oblivious to the commotion, saw her stumble out of the room. His blue eyes went wide, and he ran over to her.  
  
"Checker? Wha' happen?"  
  
"Master Yoda knows Karate"  
  
Obi-Wan looked angry. "I show him."   
  
Her eyes flew open. "No! Obi-Wan!"  
  
But there was no stopping him. He marched into Yoda's room.   
  
"HOOOOOOOOOOOYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"  
  
Obi-Wan Kenobi came barreling out of the room faster than a scared bantha. "Hep' me! Mas'er Yoda's gonna kill me! He's gone i'sane! Hep'! Hep'!"  
  
Che'ka eyes flashed. "That half witted nerfherder!"  
  
She marched back into the war zone. Yoda was still there, his black eyes intense. He saw her, and they flashed with a look that no Jedi Master should ever have in his eyes.  
  
He ran straight towards her, trying to kick her again, but this time Che'ka DeMarge' was ready. She side stepped the attack easily. Yoda's eyes went wide, and he screamed bloody murder. Che'ka turned around to see what had the Jedi Master so scared. She saw.  
  
Yoda had landed in the fire place.  
  
He jumped up, and ran from rthe room, still screaming. The fire burning a whole in one of the munchkin's face.   
  
***  
  
***  
  
Che'ka lay in bed, looking at the ceiling, waiting for her breakfast to be brought.  
  
This is going to be so fun!  
  
She looked down at hearing the door squeak open. Yoda stood there, bearing a tray of fruit and slices of fried eani meat. He walked over to her bed and placed in on the nightstand. She looked it over. Then she turned her attention to Yoda. A smile lit her face. He was wearing exactly what she had instructed him to wear. A yellow dress, with lace around the bottom and had a croched collar. He was also wearing a fake pearl necklace, and a white hat with yellow lillies in it. The outfit was completed with 6 inch high heels and a white handbag.   
  
"You didn't wear make up. I told you specifically about the make up."  
  
He looked at her, his eyes pleading. "Che'ka..."  
  
"I suppose I could set up a session with Master Windu this afternoon. I would expect he'd love to hear about the other day..."  
  
He nodded. She grinned. "That's better. Now, did you do my laundry?"  
  
He nodded solemnly. She smiled. "Good. Now, stand on your head."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard me. Stand on your head."  
  
He sighed and did as he was told. She smiled. But no, that was funny or embarrasing enough.  
  
"Do the hokey pokey."  
  
He gaped at her. She shot him a look. He started to move his arms.  
  
"No, no, no, no. Sing it."  
  
"Put your left arm in you do..."  
  
"No, sing it like humans sing it."  
  
"You put your left arm in..."  
  
Che'ka grinned as she watched. Smile, Yoda! You're on candid camera! Tomorrow the whole Temple will see you in this get up.  
  
"You stopped singing."  
  
He shrugged. "The first verse, I did."  
  
"Do the sixth verse."  
  
His eyes went buggy. "No..."  
  
"Do it...or else."  
  
He sighed. "You put your rear end in, you put your rear end out, you put your rear end in, and you shake it all about..."  
  
Now, this was good.   
  
"CHE'KA DEMARGE'! That will be quite enough!"  
  
Mace Windu. She looked around. No, not just him. The whole council.  
  
Uh oh...  
  
She jumped up. "Um, if you'll excuse me, I have a...very important...smimming lesson, yes, a swimming lesson to attend to. Uh... bye."  
  
She jumped out of her bed and made for the doorway. But eleven glowering Jedi were in her way.   
  
***  
  
That night, Obi-Wan spent the night in another caretakers quarters. But even as he was laying there, trying to sleep, he could hear the council yelling.   
  
"CHE'KA! THAT WAS....ARGH! AND YOU YODA! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER! YOU..."  
  
Obi-Wan grinned. He loved it when the adults got yelled at.   
  
"OBI-WAN!"  
  
Obi-Wan grinned. Hean had most likely discovered the frogs he had put in her bed. Hean marched in, his gold eyes wild.  
  
Obi-Wan grimaced. Now it was his turn to get yelled at...  
  
That night at the Temple, no one got much sleep. 


End file.
